Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Randomize
