i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
