By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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