I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
