I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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