i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
