Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
