I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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