you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
