We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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