Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
