Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Randomize
