today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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