My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just gift wrapped bread.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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