I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
