ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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