There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
