I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
