So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
should my penis look like a turkey
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
