Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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