Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
