alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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