What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
