Me too!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
