I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
this will be a night to untag.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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