not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He has the fingertips of a God
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