Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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