come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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