Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
