I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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