i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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