Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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