did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
