Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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