I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
