I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
