Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
