Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
