dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
