I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
