i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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