If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
