Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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