ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
