Plan B is the new Plan A
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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