Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
