If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
