I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
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