I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
