Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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