Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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