Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Randomize
