i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize