the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
