i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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