It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
