i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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