Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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