too bad you live with your parents still
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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