Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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