My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize