Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
