No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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