This girl is more easily done than said...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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