its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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