I think i sorta joined a cult last night
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
